Ashes of Dead Lovers

This past weekend my husband and I had dinner at the home of some good friends. This was initially planned by the men as part of an after-golf package deal.

I wasn’t invited to the golf part – that was a guy thing.

My husband told me who would be coming. It sounded like 8-10 people or so – most of whom I know pretty well so I looked forward to a nice relaxing get together with friends.

Now that turned out to be not entirely the case.

Who should walk into the dinner party but the last man I dated before I met my husband.

There are four things you need to know about this.

First: The only people at the dinner party who knew about this were me, the man who shall remain nameless, and my husband. So it’s not as though the hosts had any idea they were setting up a Desperate Housewives-like awkward moment when they made the invites.

Second: He is, if I remember correctly, about 15 years older than I. It could be more.

Third: His date was a good 15-20 years younger than I or has a very good plastic surgeon.

Do the math.

Fourth: She was drop dead beautiful, you know, in that effortless, natural way which tells you she probably did not, in fact, have the phone number of a really good plastic surgeon unless said surgeon’s name was God.

Ok – I lied. There are five things you need to know. HE dumped ME.

Frankly, this has turned out pretty well for me. I met my husband very soon after that. We started dating and married three years ago today. I’m pretty sure the man, who will remain nameless, wouldn’t have gotten me an iphone for my anniversary.

Now believe me it’s not about the iphone. It means my husband reads my blog and that is a man worth keeping.

So what is the point of this post? The point is this. The man who shall remain nameless is actually quite nice. At least I’ve always thought so. But I learned something new about him at this dinner that has allowed me to put his memory in the ashes of dead lovers jar* for good.

Like many men his age he believes that a young beautiful woman on his arm will instantly raise everyone elses opinion of HIM.

Unfortunately that magic trick only works on other men. It has the opposite effect on other women.

Which is a fact that men might want to remember in case the current one doesn’t work out.

Notes:

* I can’t take credit for the phrase “Ashes of Dead Lovers”.

Quite a few years ago I saw a hand thrown pottery cookie jar in a shop that had that phrase inscribed where you might expect to see the word “Cookies”. I always regretted not getting that jar. I was single at the time but the phrase still makes me laugh.